Bed of Roses and Ashes

All eyes glued to the theatre door, waiting to hear any positive update from the doctor. Nurses gallivanting in and out of different rooms with various kinds of surgical instruments. The doctor eventually appeared, with signs of surprise on his face, he asked madam Bisi.

who is Becky to you?

Immediately she replied,

am her mother in-law, please doctor hope she is okay?

Madam Bisi could not hold her tears after the doctor broke the news of miscarriage to her.

” Her womb has experienced a fatal damage, leaving her with a very slim chance of having another baby “

Madam Bisi gnashing her teeth and crying. She decided to relay the information to her son. From a little distance, the bawl coming from Nath’s end was really disturbing to her right ear as she angrily end the call.
Two days later, madam Bisi re-visited the hospital to take Becky home. As she progressed to the last step of the stair case that will usher her into the main hall of the reception, unanticipatedly the door opened widely, revealing Elena sluggishly matching out with a very big tummy of about eight months old. Madam Bisi jolted, her jaw almost falling to the ground, calmly slipped her glass below her nose to get a clear view of what her eyes had seen. Stocked on the same spot, taking a crack with her memories with Elena. Unknowingly she rushed towards Elena to embrace and congratulate her. But Elena’s wall of defence in the person of her mother and younger sister blocked and warned her with all severity never to come close to Elena.
Just as Elena and her company reach for the car, her mother Mrs Jane turned back to see the gesture and shame she had left on madam Bisi’s face. She decided to top it up as she whispers to madam Bisi from far

“It’s a twin, a boy and a girl “

Madam Bisi, glued on the same spot, speechless, with guilt written all over her face. In confusion she turned back and went home leaving Becky in the hospital…
To be continued…
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Bed of Roses and Ashes.

The yell of joy and happiness from Nath’s room was loud enough to draw Elena’s attention out of her room as she tries to find out what was really going on. On her way to her husband’s room, her PA coming right opposite her presumed that she was actually rushing to her husband’s room because of the noise coming out from there. So she decided to whisper the news into her ears.
As soon as she digested the last words from her PA, she felt life leaving her body as she helplessly fell to the ground in confirmation of heart failure. Her PA shocked with her mouth and eyes widely open, managed to scream for help as every one that heard the shout hurried towards the direction, making keen effort to move her to the nearest hospital.
Singing, dancing and strolling towards the living room, the tears and fear on the face of Elena’s PA quickly caught madam Bisi’s interest. So she explicitly inquire what was wrong with her and all other moody face staring at her simultaneously. Elena’s PA sluggishly let the cat out of the bag. These were madam Bisi’s utterance afterwards.

I want a fruitful woman in this house not a beautiful barren woman my son blindly married. Tell her to remain in that hospital because there’s no other space for her in this house, Nonsense…”

She meant every word that came out of her lips. Three days of Elena’s absence did not awake any sense of curiosity from Nath. His love, spirit, soul and body had totally dis engaged from Elena.
Becky is four months pregnant now, all the attention and welfare she needs are duly given to her without any compromise. Elena’s parent decided to visit there in-law in defence of their daughter’s interest. Just at the entrance door into the living room, Nath’s almighty mother madam Bisi summoned the door to be locked against them, she left them standing outside until all Elena’s luggage were ushered to them without any explanation as they were forced out of the building.
At 2:00am, with all the strength Becky had acquired during the course of her sleep, she tried to make her way to the rest room to answer nature call. Her first step into the rest room suddenly landed on a wet floor, all her effort to quickly get a firm grip on the door handle failed, as she fell fatally hitting her stomach directly to the ground. With the little strength remaining, she screamed on top her voice for help, few seconds later she was already swimming in the pool of her own blood, her holler so vehement enough to wake madam Bisi. She was so attached to Becky, recognising her voice was definitely no problem for her. She quickly rushed to her room. Aghast at what her eyes saw. She dashed out quickly and howled for help. Every occupant in the house were so fast asleep, Nath has been out of the country for a week. No response forth coming. She decided to zip to Elena’s PA door, banging and wailing for help, abruptly she opened the door in tremor, immediately madam Bisi grabbed her hand as they both hurried back to Becky’s room. This time Becky was already jerking, struggling to breath. They carefully carried her up and gradually walked her towards the nearest car as madam Bisi speedily drove to the nearest hospital Century Medicals, exactly where Elena is still receiving treatment…

Bed of Roses and Ashes.

“Marriage is like a man strolling in a garden of plenty flowers. He sees a beautiful flower that attracts him, he reaches for the flower with all his strength, and tact, not considering how high or low the height of the flower is to him. He plugs it away to a special place and either nurture it with all his capabilities or he later allows it to die away…”

This little piece is one of my free books. It’s a typical scenario of what Bed of Roses and Ashes” is all about.

It’s quite interesting.

Bed of Roses and Ashes 


It’s 25th April 2005, Nath and Elena’s wedding day. The weather so perfect in agreement with the so long over due D-day. A red bow tie, a white shirt, a pair of black shoe and a black jacket all designed by David Weg an epitome of African class and originality selected for the groom and his men. A red lace with slit touch of gold, fashioned,designed and sowed by Lola Faturoti an international guru in the female fashion terrain, with a pair of gold color shoe to complete the dress sense for the bridemaids. The reception hall already chilling and heavily decorated by the best hands from Zapphire Event. A BMW 5-series 2005, was just a smart choice for mobility after climbing down from the altar. Politicians, business mavins, VIPS from all works of life, gracing the colourful occasion. Bottles of moet, Domaine de la Romanee, Inglenook carbernet, and other assorted wines littering the high table. 70 serving points inclusive of all kinds of local and intercontinental dishes. The atmosphere completely electrified by fuji music from King Sunny Ade and his band. It was a night of splendor and lavish in capital letters. Award winning TV stations and magazines all present to document the memories of the great occasion.

Atlantis the Palm-Dubai the world’s largest man made isle, with outstanding array of marine and water park activities and adventures with dolphins, sea lions and underwater acquarium, just the best place to spill the honey into the moon and prepare for a shout of joy or sadness.

14days of fun, adventures and exitment in Atlantis the Palm is already suming up to $10,500 excluding shopping expenses also adding up to $25,000. As they en-rout back home into the waiting arms of families and friends, a male and female PA, a family doctor, two professional cooks, two professional drivers, a male and female fashion designer, two laundry attendants, a makeup artist, and a gym instructor to make life beautiful as they begin their unending journey of love.

Housed in their five bed room duplex is every item a human being will ever need in his life time. Every request is sorted out in just a click.

As they aged into their late 30’s, the seven years old memories of the best and most expensive wedding 2005 is gradually wiped away by pressures and shame of infertility, as the clock of menopause starts ticking. So unfortunate for both families, no grand child has ever been recorded, yet their only first hope of a grand child is already failing.

Nath progressively starts coming home as late as 23:00Hrs. Some times he stays away from home for weeks without any reasonable reason or remorse. His hang out with drinking and clubbing friends became uncontrollable. His dreams of fatherhood has utterly shattered. Disturbing suggestions from his parents to take another wife continues to thrill his taught. Elena on her own side struggling with depression and sadness every passing day searching for solution to her ordeal, all to no avail. Results of various test shows no trace of abnormality from both of them. Nath no longer eat his wife’s meals or even talk to her when he is at home. He always keeps to himself and easily gets angry when ever he is persuaded to speak on any issue not related to how he can have a child. He does not open his room to any body except his mother and father. Elena’s long lost of appetite is now causing her to diminish in size and slitly showing signs of Ulcer, making her look totally unpleasant to every one that beholds her. Her welfare is compleletly out of Nath’s priority. Nath has absolutely lost his focus and sense of responsibility as the head of his family to his parents as they took over the dictates of how his family runs.

Suggestions of adoption from Elena’s friends were immediately thrown out of the window.

25th of April 2015 exactly ten years of childless marriage, Nath finally broke the shell of his patience as he introduced Becky as a second wife to his parents…

The Mirror of Marriage III

Are there things I really need to change from? 

Oh! Yes you need to change your self and not your spouse that’s God’s own duty, because he created your spouse.

  • Do you dress off the trend?
  • Does your words carry some elements of love?
  • Do you nag like per seconds?
  • Does your meals suck?
  • Do you bring home heavy volumns of work from the office?
  • Do you always point the finger instead of taking responsibilies ?
  • Are you always quick to involve a third party when there is a dispute?
  • Are you selfish?
  • Do you ever think of ways to double your effort to provide adequately for the family?
  • How much time do you invest on the kids?


Then you really have a lot to change from.

The Mirror of Marriage II

was I really ready for marriage ?

Oops! you are in already, but there is no cause for alarm. All you need now is just focus on workable continuity behaviours.

You might find these tips helpful

  1. Start working on increasing the level of respect and honour towards your spouse.
  2. Always create a good atmosphere for frequent and free flow of communication.
  3. Always remind your love and care, speak kind and lovely words to your spouse it helps to ease tension.
  4. When trust is tampered, make sure you both sit down face to face “not phone conversation” and talk about it untill you both are okay.
  5. Mothers are like workerholics, it will be very nice to appreciate and shower them with gifts and good treats. Make sure they are always happy in your presence, “a peaceful and happy home is better than 10billion dollars in your account”
  6. The heart is like a container when it’s over filled will burst. Say it out when you are hot or unhappy about an occurrence. Don’t pretend to be okay when you are not. Your spouse cannot see through your heart, he has just an ordinary eyes.
  7. Protect your spouse in all ramifications.
  8. Take responsibility instead of pointing the finger.
  9. Listen to your spouse ideas.
  10. Learn to tolerate more.

these are just but a few…

The Mirror of Marriage IV

Am I really ready to change? 

Hey! Folks don’t get it twisted, changing probably a 27years old life style in one day is a hug, weird and uneasy transformation.

– Imagine your self  no longer hanging out with friends till 2300Hrs.

– No more night clubs.

– No more lavish spending.

– No more playing video games 4Hrs every day.

– Attending parties even when you are not invited.

– No more watching movies till 2300Hrs.

– No more dressing like a yahoo.

– No more eating like a glutton.

– No more smoking and getting drunk.

1 of 5marriages fail at the early stage of marriage. The truth is whether you are single or married, to be ready to change or not can make or mar your relationship. Strongly holding on to your 27years old life style to some extent is kissing good bye to Mr or Mrs right flashing the green light just at the corner. Wholly and totally accepting the fact that you are ready to change sets you on the right path to a successful marriage, where…

– Tolerance becomes easy.

– Occurrence of disputes drastically reduces.

– A sense of mutual understanding and cooperation.

I think you need to be practical here.

Get a pen and paper, write down every thing you know that ignites the anger in your spouse and also puts  pressures in your marriage. Sit down and think of ways to stop them. Write them down and begin to do them immediately.

The success or failure of every marriage is in the hands of the husband and wife not even a perfect third party.

mid-adult-couple-standing-in-front-of-a-mirror-in-the-fitting-room-of-a-clothing-store_edit “A mirror is fragile, your marriage is the mirror. The image is you. when the mirror cracks you crack…”

The Mirror of Marriage I

” Paulo a friend of mine, very nice guy, an I.T professional also zealous in the area of counselling. He is a very quiet man, does not talk much. When ever he gets into dispute with his wife, he shrinks into his own shell for days without talking to his wife. One day a woman came to him crying for help that her husband has been keeping malice with her for the past one month. The lady looking up to his face, waiting for him to tell her what to do. After 10seconds of silence, he stood up turned his back and wept bitterly…”

In my previous post, i was able to establish the knowledge and foundation of marriage. But there is a very strong and vital tool that helps to shapen you in marriage and also prepare you for marriage. It takes stock of who you are inwardly and presents it to you any time you ask for it. It guides you from every distractions you might find around every relationship. Have you really wondered why you are always in and out of a relationship ? This tool might just be what your relationship and marriage needs to bounce back in shape. It is called


Caucasian couple taking self portrait in mirror

Have you ever tried to answer questions like these ?

  1. Am I really ready for marriage ?
  2. Was I really ready for marriage ?
  3. Are there things I really need to change from ?
  4. Am I really ready to change ?

Hey! It’s normal if you are feeling guilty now. But you need to come out of it real quick, because it does not guarantee any solution.

Am I really ready for marriage ?

Off course an 18years old adult will only be thinking about high school and not marriage.

These tips will really help you.

Make out time to read books on marriage.

Define every relationship you find your self with the opposite sex.

Always put on a friendly and welcoming face, marriage is not a do or die affair. you never know when Mr right will show up.

Don’t be too careful and too serious about marriage, create a balance point and allow it to flow naturally.

Do not leave out the God factor, it is God that formed Eve from Adam and made her a wife for Adam. To every man there is a woman and to every woman there is a man, be rest assured.

Refuse to be influenced by delay or external pressures from any body, mostly families and friends.

‘I really prefare God’s own time’

Ask questions and don’t assume.

know what you want and not what friends want.

Stand on your values and principles.